Farewell 2010. Fight greater battles! “live your best life” - Oprah

The year that was did not end for not. In effect, my rejuvenated interest in a way forward for the life I live is informed heavily by learnings from the past year. I spent most of the year fighting symptoms, waging random battles that only served to drain me of my energy and enthusiasm for life. As a result, the ‘disease’ I was suffering from became chronic; boarding on a point where recovery rarely happens... 2011 is fully dedicated to living my best life, treating the ‘disease’ as opposed to fumbling about with its symptoms and fighting the greater battle.

The year 2010 ended in the deepest and most moving way possible! I reconciled with a colleague after nearly a year and a half of building barriers and radiating negativity. Over the period, I invested heavily in a conflict with my colleague that ultimately became a conflict with my true self.

Somewhere, sometime ago, as is almost always the case with conflicts, there laid an underlying reason for the difference that at that point in time may have been logical. But over time, we found ourselves entangled in a conflict for conflicts sake motivated by the need to preserve our egos as opposed to address the core matter at hand.

Liken to the settlers during the colonial error, whose land grabbing and territory encroaching antics gave way to conflicts with locals; for how long should such a conflict ensue without both parties being ultimately liable for its implications. As Mandela taught us (with the reconciliation process in SA), over time, it is not about who started the conflict, but more about who is going to
end it. We are all responsible for making an amends over our differences and our inability to take up this new challenge (in conflict resolution) is the source of all protracted social
conflicts.

I lost track of this pivotal goal post in life and got caught up in a game that drew on my ego and latent potential to hate to an extent that I started to embody the same evil traits that fueled my anger to begin with. I became invested in ‘demonizing’ my ‘enemies’ in a way that made me my biggest enemy.

After a long stalemate, I figured enough is enough and confronted my colleague for a truth. After a long and emotional outpouring of truths, it was concluded that we are greater than our past and that our combined strengths are greater than our divided weaknesses.

No one is perfect so there will always be a reason to hate as a result. I realized that at the end that I fell into the trap of exceptional judgment (aka prejudice); where we pass different verdicts for the same offenses depending on the relationship we have with the person in question. If you are enemies then the person is guilty as sin and should burn in hell for the offense, but if the person
is a friend then maybe it is not that bad… With time, we become prisoners of the emotions we allow to dominate our lives. As a result of having hate for one thing or one person, deep inside we become hateful and end up radiating more hate than love to everything! 

I have learned in 2010 that true strength lies in finding ways to invest in love even when the circumstances do not allow; If I am to become a prisoner of my emotions then let these emotions radiate love not hate… I feel so much stronger to have salvaged, not just a friendship with a dear colleague, but myself in the process…

A Happy New Year to All!

A nod to Oprah (a truly inspirational force in our lifetime) on officially launching her ‘OWN’ cable network - The Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN), which serves to encourage people to live their best life; what a noble cause!